Don’t look back and leave.
“There’s someone else.”
Your eyes narrow at his accusation, but you don’t protest. Your lack of response is the confirmation he needs, and he turns his back to you.
You walk out without so much a goodbye. Levi grit his teeth.
He had hoped you’d stilled cared. Time and time again, you make my heart break by telling me our love was a mistake.
Sitting on the couch alone, Levi lets his head drop into his hands. Never before had your apartment seemed so lonely, but now that you were gone, silence was the only thing that bounced off the once bright walls. Now, everything just seemed dull. Vacant. Like you and him, everything you two had built up over the years was starting to fall apart.
It was moments like these that gave him time to think.
And he thought of you.“Why are we still doing this?” your laugh sounds empty. “Why do we keep holding on, Levi?”
Your eyes soften. “See? This is what I mean. You and I…we’re unable to communicate.” You close the door, separating you from him. “We’re simply not compatible.”
“Getting into this relationship was a mistake.”
Your words echo in his mind. How could he have not foreseen this? Your words, your interactions, your responses – nothing was what it once was. All of the signs were there; how could he have possibly missed them?
It was simple.
It was because he still loved you. He wanted to believe that you felt the same, that you loved him just as much and that you would never do something as vulgar as cheating on him.
But you did and that was the truth.
Wanting to return to the old days – to the days that you both were still happy – it was only a faraway dream now. A dream that he, and you, could no longer reach.
Your love had fallen apart, and he was stupid to keep holding on. He was only hurting himself by doing so. You’d already moved on, and you were never coming back.
His eyes close, and he forces himself to forget. Dear, can you see me, or have you forgotten me completely?
You acted as though you didn’t see him, and he pretended to not see you. You both passed by each other as though the other were a stranger; that the five years you spent together meant nothing. But as he made his way around the corner, he allowed himself one glance back.
It was the first time in a long time that he regretted making a decision. What is it about that guy you’ve been hanging out with lately?
He’d known about your affair, but he always had trouble believing it.
He never believed that you, of all people, could be capable of such an atrocious act.
Tall, blonde, and handsome. Everything that Levi was not; everything that you had wanted. This man
smiled warmly at you as you approached him, extending a welcoming arm in your direction. He watched you accept the loving gesture, and he watched as the man curled an arm around your shoulder.
He didn’t know what hurt more: the fact that you had someone new, or the fact that this stranger treated you better in five seconds than he ever had in five years.
But one thing was for sure:
You’d moved on.
You were happy. Knowing that you’re okay is the only thing that’s keeping me away.
You were finally getting what you deserved. This was his only comfort. If this guy could make you happy, then so be it. He’d lived a day without you, and he’d do it again and again, if and only if you were content with your new life. He’d willingly suffer if that’s what it took to keep that smile on your face. All those times he’d made you cry, all those times he’d made you mad – this is how he would repent.
And yet, a part of him still wished that you’d come back to him.
An even smaller part prayed that you still loved him. I have no regrets loving you, even if I grow dull day by day.
How long has it been? How long has it been since you left him?
Levi didn’t want to know, but that didn’t stop his mind from wondering as he took a sip of his black tea from the café he’d taken you to on your very first date. He imagined you, sitting across from him, extending an arm across the table, resting a hand on top of his. He imagined you smiling – telling him you loved him as you did so, but before your fingers made contact with his, your smile vanished. Your hand vanished. You vanished.
His gaze fell to his hand, to the small object resting in his open palm. He took another sip and set the delicate teacup down.
He had been one day away from proposing to you. I need to let you go, but I don’t want to say goodbye.
He wanted to say goodbye. He needed to say goodbye.
It was time to move on, and he couldn’t do that if he couldn’t let you go.
As he trekked through the snow, making his way towards the apartment you now shared with your boyfriend, the sight of a lone figure entered his field of vision. At first he thought it was you, but upon stepping closer, he discovered that it was none other than the man who had captured your heart months ago.
He had to refrain from sneering, but a small ‘tch’ escaped his lips anyhow.
“You must be Levi,” the man nodded, eyeing Levi warily. “I heard a lot about you from [First].”
Levi was stunned momentarily. You talked about him? No. No, it must have been when you two first got together. Of course, that conversation would have been brought up some time down the road.
As if sensing Levi’s doubt, the man continued. “She still talks about you, you know. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she wants to see you again.”
Levi’s eyes narrow, and he makes to move past your boyfriend, but the taller male grabs his wrist, turning it upright. He feels something cold touch his skin and looks down to see the promise ring he’d given to you years ago.
“I’m sorry we lied,” the man starts to walk off. “[First]…she really loves you.”
Hands clenching into a protective fist around the ring, Levi dashes towards the apartment, towards you. Why did you lie?
He throws the doors open just in time to see you smile, just in time to see you cry, just in time to see you close your eyes…
Just in time…for you to say goodbye.
“Thank you…for everything…Levi.”
And a tear slips from both of your eyes.